Thursday, July 31, 2008

You've got to be Bold to be Beautiful

Had two new clients start today...two lovely ladies...hang on....ladies makes them sound old....two girls then....but that makes them sound really young...two women or two chicks...whatever you prefer. They've basically come for some fat removal and I intend to thoroughly de-fat them. I'm talking about the removal of 'bingo wings' and the creation of a 'single arse'...instead of a 'multiple arse' that goes from knee to mid back. I haven't talked about my 'normal' clients much but I realise some people reading this that might be more interested in the 'personal training' side of things. Basically as I said before...I don't do personal training...I've been there and done that and have no interest in it any more. But I do still have a lot of private clients...the thing is they do what all the athletes do...they show up. I write their programs and they train in the gym with all the other athletes.

These two....let's just call them Lisa and Laura to protect there anonymity are going to do 4 sessions a week. Monday to Thursday. They are going to come in...warm the prehab and mobility work that they need to do then they are going to go at it. They'll do 10 minutes of some sort of traditional cardio either of the steady state of interval variety. Then do a block of 15 minutes of weights...this will be 1, 2, 3 or 4 exercises done either as straight sets or circuit style work. This will be followed by another 10 minutes of the same style of work that they began with and then more weights then more cardio.

So their training template will look like this:

Warm Up + Mobility + Prehab Work
10 mins - Cardio = Bike, Treadmill, Rower (steady state or intervals).
15 mins - Weights = Straight sets or circuits of 1, 2, 3 or 4 exercises.
10 mins - Cardio = Bike, Treadmill, Rower (steady state or intervals).
15 mins - Weights = Straight sets or circuits of 1, 2, 3 or 4 exercises.
10 mins - Cardio = Bike, Treadmill, Rower (steady state or intervals).
Then whatever cool down and stretching I think is necessary.

They are doing a month of this...we'll reassess at that time how they are going. They were thinking 3 months but basically if I don't think they are serious or that they aren't committed or putting in like everyone else then they are going to get sacked and they can go back to their personal trainers. I also have their before girls when you read this be sure you understand you have 2 choices....either 1. You can work your arses off both figuratively and literally...and then we can sit down and decide whether we want to show off and post your pics of before and after and gloat....or...2. You can waste my time and not work your arses off both figuratively and literally and I will stalk you like a tabloid paparazzi and get some pics of you in as unflattering and embarrassing poses and positions as I possibly can and post those. So basically it is going to be down to you two how this works out for you.

On another note
There was a particular moron online who was commenting on the poor push up form of one of my athletes doing cut a long story short...this particular athlete was with me doing his rehab after suffering from Parsonage Turner can google it yourselves but in short he suffered severe wasting of his lat and a lot of associated lat and shoulder dysfunction. Basically the guy was lucky to be able to do 'a' push up let alone one with full range of motion.

I think you can see for yourself the damage that was done?

Keep in mind that this is after we've done a fairly significant amount of work building him back up.

Anyway...this particular discussion with this idiot in particular got me thinking...usually it just makes me laugh...that the internet really is full of complete imbeciles and I should know...because I'm one of them. More to the point that people really don't know what they are talking about. They look at videos on the internet of people lifting and comment on 'form'...that this person has crap form and this person has great form...but what are you really looking at? I mean I could if I wanted 'stage' every single video I put up. I'm a good enough coach that I could make every single video perfect...I mean every push up, pull up, clean, squat, deadlift...every single exercise I could coach and modify to the point that it would take some serious exercise 'lab coating' to pick it to pieces and find fault. I could carefully select every single exercise video I put up and only upload the ones that are actually perfect...if people seriously think that is what I do or that this is what this blog is about than some people are even stupider than I thought....and believe me...I think a lot of people on the internet are pretty stupid so that takes some doing.

Two things came together in this single thread on this particular forum...1. That the form of my athletes was poor and therefore I was by extension a crap coach and 2. Another poster was trying to make the point that all I care about is how I am 'perceived' and that all my posts are all about me 'marketing myself'...keep in mind...this particular person is also so idiotic as to think I was posting to promote all my non existent books...and that my whole 'online persona' was a carefully constructed fabrication...that I was trying to 'present' myself as someone 'who doesn't care what anyone else thinks'.

Now in answer to these 2 points.

1. That my athletes like all athletes do some stuff perfectly and some stuff that is a mess...I tend to show as much of both as I can because usually I use the camera for coaching feedback rather than to have something to post...for is an athlete making an absolute mess of his 2 reps on his box squat with 180kgs.

This is not an 'instructional video'.

This was a mess so what we did was take 5 minutes break and did it again...this time perfectly...actually...not perfectly...that's a stupid thing to say...he did it much better.

In short I am not making a training manual or video detailing the perfect execution of exercises...these are just videos of training...simple as that.

2. If I stopped this blog tomorrow and I stopped posting on forums on the internet do any of you want to take a guess how much effect this would have on my annual income? I can't wait for you to get back to me so let me tell you. If I stopped blogging and posting my income would only go up because I would probably be forced to do more work and hence I'd get paid more. The only income I get is from coaching or from coaching consultancy and approximately less than zero of that comes in anyway shape or form from the internet. If anything my blogging and forum posting probably has a bigger negative effect on my income because people realise before they actually come and pay for coaching what an arsehole I am and I don't get that first months payment out of them before they come in and train and find out for themselves.

So anyway...I better get back to work.

Oh and here's some not so great and far from perfect 100kg cleans with Darcy falling forward a little...maybe I will only put up bad lifts and poor form for a least I'd get a lot more laughs out of some of the idiots I encounter online who have never coached a day in their lives but think they know everything about everything especially when it comes to training and coaching.

Perfect? No...but do people really think he doesn't know that?


João Mimoso said...

If you compare those cleans to coach dos', they are awesome

Kira said...

Will said . . .

"Another poster was trying to make the point that all I care about is how I am 'perceived' and that all my posts are all about me 'marketing myself'."

So posting pics of your athletes and calling them fat bastards is your marketing strategy?

Let me know how that works out for you :)

Will Heffernan said...

Kira said...

Will said . . .

"Another poster was trying to make the point that all I care about is how I am 'perceived' and that all my posts are all about me 'marketing myself'."

So posting pics of your athletes and calling them fat bastards is your marketing strategy?

Let me know how that works out for you :)
Yeah..apparently this is all some sort of massive marketing sure to buy all my books.

Let me know how that works out for you :)

ian said...

Hi Will,

I've got a few very dull questions - if only I had your wit and repartee - but since every blog has its studious reader it might as well be me.

Regarding Laura & Lisa:

Did they put themselves up for 4 sessions Monday to Thursday? In this day and age where we see trainers/coaches promising more fat loss in less time, your 4 x 1hour+ sessions are quite a commitment.

I have never believed in the rigid 1 hour exactly sessions generally used by trainers and gyms - I just think you do what you need to do however long it takes - even if that means a 30 minutes session 1 day and a 75 minute session another.

How much time do you give to screening your personal training clients and since fat loss is the goal what static/dynamic tests do you think are worth doing? I imagine it is possible to over do the assessments when really the only thing the client is interested in is if their dress fits better :)

I know there are an infinite number of ways to structure your sessions - and I'm sure you do - but you seem to like the strength stuff interspersed with cardio. Do you like the format because the clients can keep the intensity up on the cardio due to the rest they get while doing strength - or is it a nice structure because the mixing up of strength and cardio keeps boredom away? I'm trying not to look too deep into this - but I know that's how it comes across :)

For nutrition do you just tell the girls to clean up their act for the first month and see how they go?

Do you just use the Tanita scales to measure body fat or do you get the calipers out?

if you go this far without nodding off - thanks - an I'll leave it at that for now.

Anonymous said...

exactly what kind of fitness center are you running, sir??